September 19, 2019 – Anne Alexander on resilience:
“It requires a mental suppleness, flexibility, and a raw vulnerability that allow us to dive deeply into our psyche–especially the broken places–and see ourselves, our thoughts and feelings, our beauty and longings, hurts and wounds, shadows, worst delusions and misdeeds, and to hold all of that with compassion, curiosity, and loving care.”
I never imagined that at the end of my epic adventure I would feel depressed. After all, having danced with that big black dog as far back as I could remember, I took great care to develop and maintain mindfulness (on and off, but mostly on), work through childhood and young adult traumas with therapists, and identify when I was disconnecting from my loving self and find my way back.
One of the intentions of my solo journey was to “take it to the next level” – gain some ideas about the next phase of my life and where I wanted to go emotionally, mentally, and physically. I didn’t expect to see parts of the life I had built–complete with emotional conflict, insecurity and shame–move front and center, raw and crystal clear, and rip me apart.
The choice now? The only real choice now? Figure it out. Keep going. With compassion. With curiosity. With loving care. With gratitude.