A Fluid Theme Throughout My Life

Happy Solstice

June 21, 2019 – Today was a good day. Musical soundtrack in my head for the day was Jesus Christ Superstar. Yesterday was Cats. Day before was Les Miserables. That one has gotten a couple of days. I think tomorrow will be Hamilton. It helps bring some music in while allowing me to hear all of the sounds around me – like whale blows! Today I paddled with a few humpback whales for about half an hour. It was as if they were seeing me to the end of Grenville Channel.

Grenville Channel is the place I dreamed of all those years ago, before I’d ever known of it. It is stunning. I have reached the end of the channel and tomorrow will paddle through another series of lots of different channels converging, going every which way, and ultimately entering Princess Royal Channel. Yes, I should feel right at home. That is the channel that will ultimately lead to Bella Bella, so I’m making some progress.

I a bit better today emotionally. So far, I’ve identified two things this journey is about. The first is about recognizing more frequently and regularly that I make good decisions. All my life I have had deep self-doubt about making decisions, second guessing myself and so forth. I think that has something to do with why people are always making suggestions on how to do things or how to do them better – because I give off that uncertainty about my ability to make the decision when all this time I have had it. Sure I make bad decisions too, but the good ones far outweigh the bad, especially on this trip.

The second is about whether I can actually do this trip and enjoy myself (at least most of the time) and problem-solve as I go, or is my core personality someone who wants to play it safe and stay home and just dream about doing it. I wouldn’t think the latter, but believe me there have been many moments these past three weeks where I’ve just wanted to call it. Yet there have been so many more moments I’ve felt more alive than ever. Therefore I am rooting for the former in case you are wondering.

16+ miles today. I actualy did 17.4 but had to backtrack to have a nice beach for me and BABS on our last night in Grenville Channel.

Humpback Whale

One response to “Happy Solstice”

  1. Woohoo! I read each post as soon as it comes in. Thank you for sharing generously. I don’t comment each time but I send you prayers of strength, enjoyment, and peace each time. Your capacity for life already shines from you. Sounds like this trip is polishing you even more. I can’t wait to hear the stories in person. Soon enough you’ll be snuggling with Gaston and we can share a fire, the difficulties and joys becoming memories. Wishing you dry sleeping and friendly waters!

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